Week 1 - Harry and Ricky
What does a sex therapist do? Or a sexual and relationship therapist, to give the full title. Listens to peoples concerns about their sex lives. Helps people with sexual problems, all sorts of sexual problems, some you might not have heard of. They can provide physical treatments (e.g. taking Viagra to boost erections) and psychological treatments (e.g. help with understanding why you don’t feel like having sex). They see men, women, couples, young people, older people, able-bodied or disabled; they see anybody who isn’t happy about sex. This blog is about the patients who come to see me and their journeys through sex therapy.
Harry B came in to see me in the clinic, it was his first appointment and he looked really terrified - trembling and his hands were sweaty. This isn't unusual and in fact it can take some people a couple of attempts before they manage to say the words to their GP, "I have a problem with sex", or force themselves to attend this clinic. So we just had a chat for a bit and gradually Harry became more relaxed and even managed a smile or two. He'd been referred by our Urology department with a seven year history of problems with his erections...as I was saying, it can take people a while to seek help for sexual problems. He had been diabetic (a known risk factor for erection problems) for eleven years and had already tried some drugs to boost his erections, but he was convinced that his problem was a psychological one, that if he just thought about sex in a different way then his erections would return. This first session was mainly about helping Harry become more relaxed though, so we arranged another appointment and he seemed happy to come back next week and tell me more.
Another interesting patient today was Ricky S, a 37 year old bus driver who had his first sexual experience when he got married last year to his 23 year old girlfriend. He'd masturbated in the past but this was his first penetrative sexual intercourse and, maybe unsurprisingly, he was ejaculating very quickly (although we have to be very careful about time-scales because some men think penetrating for 10 minutes is too quick!). Do you know what the North European average time is, from vaginal penetration to ejaculation? It's about 3 minutes. But it is a very difficult thing to measure, and I don't recommend you take a stopwatch to bed to find out!
Harry B came in to see me in the clinic, it was his first appointment and he looked really terrified - trembling and his hands were sweaty. This isn't unusual and in fact it can take some people a couple of attempts before they manage to say the words to their GP, "I have a problem with sex", or force themselves to attend this clinic. So we just had a chat for a bit and gradually Harry became more relaxed and even managed a smile or two. He'd been referred by our Urology department with a seven year history of problems with his erections...as I was saying, it can take people a while to seek help for sexual problems. He had been diabetic (a known risk factor for erection problems) for eleven years and had already tried some drugs to boost his erections, but he was convinced that his problem was a psychological one, that if he just thought about sex in a different way then his erections would return. This first session was mainly about helping Harry become more relaxed though, so we arranged another appointment and he seemed happy to come back next week and tell me more.
Another interesting patient today was Ricky S, a 37 year old bus driver who had his first sexual experience when he got married last year to his 23 year old girlfriend. He'd masturbated in the past but this was his first penetrative sexual intercourse and, maybe unsurprisingly, he was ejaculating very quickly (although we have to be very careful about time-scales because some men think penetrating for 10 minutes is too quick!). Do you know what the North European average time is, from vaginal penetration to ejaculation? It's about 3 minutes. But it is a very difficult thing to measure, and I don't recommend you take a stopwatch to bed to find out!
posted by Jim Pollard @ 9:14 am
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